I’m going to Bristol. I need some time alone and away from
everything. London is driving me crazy, I think. There are days I feel immense
happiness surrounding me, filling my soul so much that there is no more space
in it, thus it flows out and it covers my body, which then sparkles. This
sparkle is noticed by nobody. People in London, including myself, walk so fast
for no reason. They look at the floor. They might smile at you, if they flirt
with you through their eyes. Rare, that is. There are other times, I feel so
miserable and lost as if the city grew enormously way above my head and
swallowed me all the way down and entrapped me in the deepest tube line’s
tunnel.
I know I must not complain, because there are people in a
worse situation; people that have nothing to eat or to dress, people that are
alone and lonely, people that are severely ill and are counting the days left
to enjoy. But how comes we are taught to live always comparing ourselves to the
one inferior to us? People say “money does not bring happiness”. Is this a
pathetic way of making ourselves feel a little better, because we are not rich
enough in order not to know what to do with the money? Have we ever considered
comparing ourselves and the situations we are in to better situations? That is
one of my questions. But then, the argumentative answer to this question, which
is actually another question, would be: “how do you know somebody is in a
better situation than the one you are in?”.
Indeed. Everybody has issues, problems, unanswered questions
and therefore, everybody struggles. I will never quite struggling for life,
because after all, I figured it out. I know what life means. Life is an
opportunity. Life is here and now. Life is fighting and losing and still being
able to fight. Life is, fighting and winning without stopping fighting for the
next win. Life is, not knowing what the next day will bring. Life is, dining at
the end of the day with the people you love, no matter what the hell they’ve
been through during their day. Life is, hope in the middle of desperation. Life
is, a smile amid wiping. Life is, up and down, right and left, black and white.
Life is everything.
So, I’m not going to stop. I’ll take it. I’ll do it. I’ll
live.
